passion party finances

hello lovely readers! It has been too long! I apologize for my tardiness. This week at work was a biatch, to put it politely. Maybe we'll get into that later, but for now lets focus on PF stuff.

Yesterday I went to a passion party that my friend G was throwing. (Yes, this is PF related, give it a minute.) The host was hilarious and had all us girls rolling on the ground laughing within minutes! I know the girl who threw the party and a few others who were there from law school. It was good to catch up with everyone. Law school is known for giving its graduates HUGE amounts of debt. And while, yes, the starting salaries are higher than say, a non-lawyer. It is still extremely difficult to meet all your debt obligations after you graduate and (hopefully) pass the bar in your state. Take A for example. She was at the party last night and I was chatting with her. She was telling me about a mutual friend, J, who was getting married, etc. Then she told me that she had moved in with her sister. Now, I know A makes a good salary. I'm pretty darn sure she makes more than me (not hard, I get paid very little in the law field). She probably makes low to mid $80s. That's a lot of money in my opinion and she should be able to afford a place of her own. But she told me that she graduated from our law school with $200,000 in student loans and $30,000 in credit card debt. She lived alone all through out law school (I know this) but NOW she decides to move in with her sister to save money? It just doesn't make sense. She then got uncomfortable and said she was sorry for telling me. I told her that I'm actually kind of into personal finance, so I'd love to hear her financial situation. A went on to say "whenever I have the chance I throw $500.00 at my credit card debt." What? $500.00?!? What is $500 going to do against a $30,000 cc debt with an approximate interest rate of 20% (give or take depending on when she missed her last payment)? The interest alone is $500 a month!! 20% is not even a high interest rate these days. BFs brother has a cc bill with 28% interest. She told me all the debt is not on one card and that she is doing a pretty good job of moving the debt around to different cards to capitalize on the low interest rates. W.O.W. As a small side note, I know that G has serious cc debt too. But I don't know how much.


Next she told me that herself, A, J, and G (the girl throwing the party) all have their federal student loans in deferment. All three of these girls make more than I do. I just can't quite figure out how none of them can make their federal loan payments?!? A told me that they all sign up for classes at the local junior college and then drop the classes later in the semester. They sign up for JC classes and send their deferment paperwork into the federal government and then drop the classes after their loans have been deferred for that semester. What do you think of that? I understand that federal loans are not the number one priority to pay off, they aren't my number one. But BF and I are doing interest only until the end of this year. Interest only on the maxed out federal loans is only $335 per month. Thats a make-able amount, I think. After you pay off the private loans, move on to the federal ones.

Moving on in my story, the girl who was our host from "passion parties" had an interesting way of couching her terms. She told all of us, if we were ever in the dog house that we should use this one item on our significant other because then he would forget about "how much we spent on the credit card that day." I was fascinated and completely offended that she would say that. Is that what women are like? Do we spend more money than we have? Do we spend more money than our husband makes? I felt like I was in a herd of cows because all the women burst out laughing like they totally knew what she was talking about. All I could do was look around the room at this point because #1, I am still offended that anyone would think I would spend more than I could pay off AND that I would be spending my "husband's money." Hello, I have a JOB. whatever. and #2 I realize that I am sitting in a room full of people who are full of credit card debt and it is no big deal to them. No one even bats an eyelash because they assume everyone else has a shitload of cc debt too. it was an eyeopening experience for me. And a sad one at that.

After the "passion parties" host finished her show it was time for everyone to buy what they wanted. Fortunately at this point it was really late (midnight) and I needed to get home before I fell asleep at the wheel. Thank goodness I was able to make my exit. Yes, I went to a passion party and did not spend a dime. (sidenote: BF was THRILLED). But A and G were just warming up to get some serious shopping done. These sex toys and lotions, etc. were NOT CHEAP. Let me get this straight, A has $30,000 worth of cc debt, but she is going to drop like $100 on sex crap? SEX CRAP? really? Don't get me wrong, I know some people are really into their sex toys and I think thats great. In fact, I am a total feminist, so I think it is GREAT that this day and age women can sit around and talk about what toys or lubes makes their sex life better. I'm just making the point that A is already so far in debt, it seems to me that the only thing she should be putting on these credit cards is the BARE necessities (like food, rent, and MAYBE car insurance). Our world has become so instant gratification oriented, take sex toys for example. Sex toys are OBVIOUSLY for some instant gratification. People are so oriented towards instant gratification these days that they will add to a $30,000 cc debt principle. It was fascinating to me.

When I left the party I called BF. He was THRILLED that I didn't buy any of the sex crap. because, lets be honest, we're all friends here: all that stuff really is CRAP! I don't need more stuff cluttering up my life. BF and I had a great night together because he was turned on that I DIDN'T buy anything. (Although he wanted to hear about it). People need to communicate more in their relationships, i.e. don't buy something you can't afford if your signifcant other told you not to. and also, people need to deal with a little delayed gratification. Delayed gratification is not what is hip, I know, but it is what is responsible at least in regards to debt repayment and personal finance.

Any thoughts on A's or G's financial situations?